From Ley:

 

 

I think I know what the Govt's problem is with

sheep....

 

As part of its 'war on terrorism' the Govt has decided

to take on the threat posed to the nation by the

Taleram, a fearsome herbivorous group living mainly in

the north and west of the country, and wreaking havoc

on the mountain pastures which it consumes at an

alarming rate.

 

The Taleram, along with the lawless fugitive Orama baa

Louder, are also thought to be responsible for the

deliberate spread of a strange disease which makes

ordinary sane people turn into politicians.

 

Secret camps are known to exist in the hills where

young tups are trained to sneak down into the valleys

disguised as border collies and deliver 'scrapie

bombs' to pubs and restaurants in the form of

innocuous-looking haggis.

 

But help may be at hand. Another terror group, the

Moojahidin, which was previously blamed for the

scourge, has agreed to do a deal with the Govt.

 

In return for amnesty, the Moojahidin will track down

and hand over Baa Louder and the Taleram leaders to

Govt representatives.

 

A spokesperson for the newly convened Department for

the Eradication of Sheep and Prevention of Terrorism

(DESPOT) said today: 'This is a golden opportunity to

rid the civilised world of an appalling menace. From

now on anyone wearing a woolly sweater will be shot on

sight.'

 

(Sorry....I'm just having a nervous breakdown.)

 

Ley.

 

ENDS

 

*************************

 

From Didi:

 

 

I read the following in the Agricultual Law Quarterly from solicitors

Burges Salmon re vaccination.

 

The Netherlands, France, Belguim, Germany have eradication schemes planned

or in progress which rely on gene deleted marker vaccines.... The Dutch

scheme has 17,000 IBR (infectious bovine rhinotracheitis) free herds out of

a total of 57,000. Their stated objective was to free the entire Dutch

cattle herd of IBR and to obtain recognition for this within the EU when

they would seek to ban imports from countries with a lower health status.

Their scheme relied heavily on the use of a live marker vaccine.

Unfortunately, one batch was contaminated with BVD type 2 (bovine viral

diarrhoea) virus, a much more virulent strain than that present in the UK,

which infected 12 herds and killed 400 cattle - 11 herds were slaughtered

out, a total of 1400 cattle. As a result the industry lost confidence in

the vaccine and in the control programme and the scheme ground to a halt.

 

Comment: sorry, I'm speechless!

 

On another issue have you heard the comments by Ben Gill about killing pets

if rabies is found? Saw the story in Smartgroup.com fmd chat room.

Best wishes, Didi

 

ENDS

****************************

 

Richard responds to our report (pardon) on flatulence yesterday:

 

 

I would have thought that DEFRA officials were so tight-arsed that they were

physically incapable of flatulence.

 

ENDS

 

 

 

from Alan & Rosie